A dummy’s guide to road safety

Today, I am going to tell you 5 different stories but I won’t reveal the end. You have to guess it yourself.

The signal is blinking in a dangerous red colour, it is time for the car to stop but it races away, knocking a man over. Ah…who cares? A little splatter of blood here and a few broken limbs there; it doesn’t make a difference. A sip of liquid courage is required to get over that niggling conscience but hey, the entire bottle may not be that bad at all.

The phone is ringing loudly but there is no need to stop the car. Humans can multi task can’t they?

Let’s try and overtake that silly auto; no need for signaling at all.

The seatbelt is just a silly feature meant to rein in my freedom, I am never going to wear it.

Speed limits are for sissies. Main toh 100 ke speed se jaunga

This is where my stories end. Where do you think these stories end?

Hospital? Jail? Or a combination of both.

Why you should follow road safety? I can give you a million sensible reasons to follow road safety. But unfortunately, according to a research conducted by leading scientist, the humans of 21^st century have started developing really thick heads and they suddenly turn deaf when they hear good advice.

That is why; I am going to do something different. I am going to give some practical advice, which we selfish human beings may understand better.

So here are my top 10 reasons on why you should drive safely.

Hospital ceilings can be really boring

You love to race and drive at crazy speeds and now you, poor little you, are lying in a hospital bed with tubes going in and out of you, covered in bandages, taking in oxygen from a crazy little mask. TV is out of the question in an ICU and so all you can do to pass time is stare at the ceilings which may be interesting on the first day with its cute little cracks but eventually even they turn out to be boring. So if you want to continue with your exciting lifestyle, doing what you do best, then do pay attention on the safety rules.

You will have to swallow many bitter pills

Once you are out of the hospital, your bad time does not end. You will be in for months of therapy not to mention popping innumerable pills. But do you know what will be the bitterest of them all? The “look” that your loved ones, relatives and acquaintances will give you for being crazy enough to land in the hospital first place.

Your insurance will not cover foolishness

The kind innocent insurance agents you see on TV are actors and in reality, you will have to face stern, tight fisted men who will rather die than pay you the insurance money for your foolishness. So don’t break your bank or your body while driving like a maniac.

Bribe money = Party money

Don’t you hate those pot bellied traffic policemen who are always waiting for their palms to be greased? Well, if you drive safely you will get the satisfaction of not having to face them and you can use all the bribe money that you saved to party hard with your friends. Hey, but don’t forget to save some of it for the taxi fare and stay safe.

Jail food is really bland

Have you seen jails in movies? They are the tiny little boxes that you will have to spend years in. You will also get to hang around with people of colorful dispositions and the food, let’s just say that the food that they serve is inedibile at its best. So if you want to continue eating chicken bitter masala, you better start driving safely.

Your car is precious

Well, I don’t know about you but my car is really precious to me. If I were in an accident, not only I would get an extensive bill for my personal repairs but also the repairs for my car. So avoid this headache, simply drive safe.

GTA Vice City is meant to be played on your PC

GTA Vice city is so addictive that sometimes you don’t even realize whether you are on real roads or virtual ones and while you may be quite a daredevil when it comes to playing the game, you should realize that once a person dies, his life cannot be renewed with a few tricks.

That bucket list? It is still incomplete

Bucket lists are cool and completing your bucket list is even cooler. So, if you intend to complete yours someday, you need to drive safely and not end up dead.

Because you hate tears

If you don’t drive safely, then you can rest assured that you are going to see a lot of teary faces someday. Your entire family, friends and yourself will shell bucket loads of them if you end up hurt/ in jail/ dead. So, if you cannot stand the sight of your mother sobbing uncontrollably, be careful while you drive.

And last but not the least,

Being dead sucks

Come on accept it, while heaven sounds really interesting, I am sure it is not as fun as going to a bar with friends. I am sure heaven is a place where you will have to be serene and peaceful all the times and swearing out aloud would be a big taboo. You would not be able to gorge on your favorite food or date some sassy angel passing by. Therefore; I don’t think I am wrong when I say that young restless selves rather spend a few extra minutes on earth rather than an eternal existence on heaven. All you have to do is drive safe and you will good to go for an exciting life on earth itself.

I do hope that these posters have made you realize the importance of being safe on the road. If you still ignore the rules, then even God can’t help you.